Parents and Carers

Welcome to the NVR Ireland website

In recent years, in our work with parents and children, we have encountered a new concern. Many parents are telling us that their home life is very stressful with constant rows, damaged property or even physical injury – and that this aggression comes from their child. Parents report that they feel they have no authority in their home, that they are ‘walking on eggshells’ with their child or that their child ‘rules the roost’. This conflict can be to do with screens, money, school or perhaps drug and alcohol misuse.

You may find yourself caught in a cycle of arguments, confrontations, shouting and door slamming. It may appear that your child has no respect for you and that you can no longer parent that child in the way you wish to. You may feel stressed and upset and perhaps that nobody else is experiencing this conflict. This may have become physical and many parents tell us that they are fearful – for their children, for other children in the home and indeed for themselves.

Non Violent Resistance (NVR) offers a way out of these harmful patterns that can develop in a family when conflict occurs. NVR aims to reduce conflict, aggression and violence on the one hand and on the other, to repair the relationship between the parent and child. These relationships are often damaged and both the parent and the child using aggression, can feel very alone. With NVR, parents are supported to notice the patterns in the conflict, to consider how they respond to their child’s behaviour and to bring about a significant change in their family. The aim is to restore parental authority without resorting to punishment and consequences which in turn lead to further escalations.

NVR recognises that parents no longer have an automatic authority as they have had in the past. There have been huge social changes in recent years and lifestyles have changed significantly. Expectations of parents have changed, and children have become more empowered. In some families, it feels as though everything is off kilter. NVR aims to bring stability to the family. It supports parents to lead their family out of the harmful patterns that have developed in their home.

If you are a parent or carer who is concerned about violence, abuse or controlling behaviour in your home, you may find some help through the Service Providers Page.

Parents can contact Parentline, which has telephone volunteers trained in NVR. They can help parents across Ireland. This is a link to their website for more information. https://www.parentline.ie/

Parents and Carers may find some other resources on our website helpful. Please feel free to explore the links, bearing in mind that some materials are aimed more at Practitioners.

Link to Podcasts

Link to Videos

Link to Publications

Link to Past Webinars